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 > The Pacific Northwest According To Jeff Foxworthy

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casperBrittain

north bend, Or.

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Posted: 02/22/08 09:03am Link  |  Quote  |  Print  |  Notify Moderator

Ok, this guy is just to funny and i do like his jokes. He must have been in Oregon not to long ago to be able to tell jokes about us and be right on with the jokes. The state flower is almost right, we have 2 not one, Mildew and rust.
______________________________________________________________________



The Pacific Northwest According To Jeff Foxworthy: These are great!!
Jeff Foxworthy does Southern humor but he seemed to nail this one...


1. You know the state flower (Mildew).

2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.

3. Use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.

4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.

5. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.

6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant or to church.

7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "WALK" signal.

8. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it's not a real mountain.

9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle 's Best, and Veneto 's.

10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon.

11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup , Haceta, Yaquina, Yachats, Issaquah , Oregon ,
Yakima and Willamette .

12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.

13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.

14. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark while only working eight-hour days.

15. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.

16. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain" and "Tomorrow's
forecast: rain followed by showers."

17. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.

18. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.

19. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.

20. You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.

21. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking
boots and parka.

22. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.

23. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.

24. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.

25. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a longtime.

26. You measure distance in hours.

27. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.

28. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.

29. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer),
Deer & Elk season (Fall).

30. You understood these jokes and will probably forward them.


Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and
permanently set.

buttercat

Wisconsin

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Posted: 02/22/08 08:12pm Link  |  Quote  |  Print  |  Notify Moderator

Too funny! That reminded me, I've got a Wisconsin version of that, so I had to go find it. I hope you don't mind, but I had to post it too! There's some that are the same, or at least very similar.

JEFF FOXWORTHY ON WIS.



If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 38 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Wisconsin.


If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Park Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Wisconsin.


If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy", you might live in Wisconsin.


If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Wisconsin.


If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Wisconsin.


If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Wisconsin.


If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Wisconsin.


If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Head Cheese, you might live in Wisconsin.


If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Wisconsin.


If you have either a pet or a child named "Brett", you might live in Wisconsin.


If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Wisconsin.


If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Wisconsin.


If you know how to say Oconomowoc, Waukesha, Menomonie & Manitowoc, you might live in Wisconsin.


If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in Wisconsin.


If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and you sing gently, "From the land of sky-blue waters,....you might live in Wisconsin.


YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE WISCONSINITE WHEN:


1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.


2. "Vacation" means going up north past Hwy 8 for the weekend.


3. You measure distance in hours.


4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.


5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.


6. Your whole family wears Packer Green to church on Sunday.


7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.


8. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings and funerals ).


9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.


10. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.


11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife or girlfriend knows how to use them.


12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time.


13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.


14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.


15. You refer to the Packers as "we."


16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.


17. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.


18. You have no problem pronouncing Lac Du Flambeau.


19. You consider Minneapolis exotic.


20. You know how to polka.


21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.


22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.


23. Down South to you means Illinois.


24. A brat is something you eat.


25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.


26. You go out to fish fry every Friday


27. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.


28. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.


29. You find minus twenty degrees "a little chilly."


30. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Wisconsin friends

casperBrittain

north bend, Or.

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Joined: 01/03/2007

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Posted: 02/22/08 11:40pm Link  |  Quote  |  Print  |  Notify Moderator

those are good

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